im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
