we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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