He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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