he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
