after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
