We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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