Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Randomize
