So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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