btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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