So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
