I love black thongs
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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