So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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