Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
