So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
