This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
