New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
