Nicole vs. Life
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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