u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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