I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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