so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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