Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
