her vagine was all disorganized.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
