Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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