The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
