do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
