that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
