bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
