You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't think brook has ever known best
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
