we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
