Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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