What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
