i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
