Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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