Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
