Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
