are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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