like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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