yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
