I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
