sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My day in three words: secret purse cake
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
