There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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