But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
