we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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