WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
