So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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