he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
