We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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