i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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