so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
