i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
