she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
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