What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
