Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
