booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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