I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
