conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
wow bdsm is so cute
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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