Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
