Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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