I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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